The Habit That Changed My Conversations with Myself

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I never used to talk to myself — not really. Sure, I’d grumble when I misplaced my glasses or whisper a prayer before a tough moment. But I didn’t ask myself real questions. The kind that makes you stop, breathe, and listen.

That changed one rainy morning last year.

I was sipping chai on the balcony, watching my grandkids chase a paper boat in a puddle, when it hit me — they were so curious. Every two minutes, a question. “Why does the rain smell?” “Can clouds fall?” “Do ants go to school?”

And me? I hadn’t asked a curious question all week.

The Small Habit I Started That Day

I made a decision: I’d ask myself one meaningful question every day. Just one. Nothing fancy. No pressure. Just a moment of honest reflection.

I kept a tiny notepad by my bedside. Some of the first questions I wrote were:

  • “What’s one thing I’m avoiding today?”

  • “What did I do yesterday that I’m proud of?”

  • “What would make today feel complete?”

Some days the answers came fast. Other days, I stared at the paper, blank. But something beautiful was happening I was finally hearing my own thoughts again.

What Changed

This one habit did something unexpected.

It softened me. I became more patient with myself. I stopped jumping to fix everything. I started pausing, listening—especially when I felt overwhelmed or restless. Slowly, I noticed I was making better decisions. I was showing up more fully for my family. Even my conversations with my grandkids got deeper.

One night, my 6-year-old granddaughter asked me, “Nani, what’s something you learned today?”

I smiled.

And without thinking, I replied, “That one small question can make a big difference.”

A Lesson from Lord Mahaveer

This simple practice reminds me of a teaching by Lord Mahaveer:
“Observe carefully. In observing, truth is revealed.”

Asking myself a question every day is my way of observing. Not the outside world—but my inner one. It’s become a quiet, sacred pause in my daily rhythm.

Try It Today

You don’t need a fancy journal. Just a moment and a pen. Or even a thought whispered into the mirror.

Try starting with this:
“What does peace look like for me today?”

Write it down. Sit with it. Let the answer find you.

PS: I still keep that notepad by my bed. It's worn out now, a little stained from spilled tea, but it’s full of questions that brought me back to myself.

And I think that’s what small daily habits all are about—not changing everything at once but quietly returning home to who you are.

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